the economy and friendships

michwake — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:13:24 GMT

I am also from MI and see how terrible the economy is. However, while I have always had a good steady job, I have friends that are doctors, lawyers, engineers and others that have always held one unsteady, low paying job after another. I love all my friends the same. I don't rub in if I have more and don't complain if I have less. I help those I can, when I can, if I can. I am also hit by the economy. I went through a divorce in 2007 and my ex lost his job recently as did his new wife. Neither of them had a penny saved. I already made cuts in my life, scaled back, got rid of cable, etc. Neither of them are working, they pay for cable, eating out, brand new bikes, oh and the wedding but expect me to take a hit on child support, which was already a pretty small amount to begin with. So, I have to watch them blow every penny they have and I get penalized. I try to have a good relationship with my ex, for our son and because I care about him even if we are not "in love" anymore. It does make me nuts though. He said he can take our son more in the summer because he isn't working. So...basically, I am paying (or taking a cut) so he can sit on his butt all summer and play with our son. Well, I would like to sit home too or have some time off. My bills are the same and I'm paying for a house that used to get paid for with two incomes, now on my one income. I see some people who always worked hard and lost jobs and went through their savings and I can feel for them. I see some people who are not even trying to find work though as if the bad economy is an excuse to not even try. I told my ex, instead of sitting home pretending to look for work, why don't you do volunteer work? Do something good with your time. I figure it would at least look better on his resume then "sitting on my butt all summer doing nothing".

Sorry for sounding so frustrated. I just work so hard and seem to never really get ahead. I have friends in good marriages, with both spouses working good jobs or at least one of them making more then enough. They have everything, don't have to worry and have their huge houses AND a savings. I don't get jealous though because I know they worked for it, went through college (as did I) and deserve what they have. I don't think any of them had handouts from their parents or others. I see friends out of work, but those were the same people who struggled even before the economy tanked. Now they feel they have a legitimate excuse. I get mad when I know I made cuts and sacrifices and might have a little left over at the end of the day. Then they expect handouts from me. I get invited to all of their kid's bday parties and I know I am expected to spend X amount. Then I have friends with no kids, no real big responsibilities that get aggravated with me for not being able to join them on every single trip out of town, or to the movies and dinner. So, I get punished for being responsible for all of my obligations.

Yet, I bite my toungue and try my best to be understanding and hold onto my friendships. I figure we all just see things differently.

Family

the economy and friendships