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Re: You still have to separate the

quiet lawyer — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 00:49:43 GMT

Thanks for the congrats. My fiancee still makes fun of me for putting in my profile lame things like "I like long conversations over a cup of coffee," and I don't even drink coffee. Which is why I'm eternally grateful to eHarmony for not giving her any other options to choose from.

You still have to separate the

topazz — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 00:26:05 GMT

the wheat from the chaff, but that happens anywhere, even in a bar. At this stage in my life I know what appeals to me the most, and it's not some guy spouting worn out platitudes about cuddling and finding his soulmate. (Congratulations on meeting your fiancee, though - and best of luck to you both.)

Re: try the Onion's site

quiet lawyer — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 00:10:39 GMT

I'm a bit biased because I met my fiancee on eHarmony, where its limitations worked to my benefit. My fiancee is not very religious and was essentially matched to only me, so I didn't have any competition, and she probably agreed to a date so she could at least get a free meal out of her subscription fee (I was matched to a lot of people because my personality profile was basically "religious and willing to date anyone who isn't mean). Other people I know joined and were frustrated because they weren't matched to anyone. But on the other hand, a big site where you can browse puts you in competition with 100's of other people, so you've essentially walked into a bar where you and 100 other people are approaching the same person with a pick up line. Although a more niche site (like the Onion) could be a good compromise.

try the Onion's site

topazz — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 23:26:51 GMT

it attracts a more diverse group of people. Intelligent, sophisticated people with a sense of humor, mainly. It doesn't have to be nearly so serious or exhausting - it can actually be a lot of fun.

Out of Place?

PhilistineTheArtLover — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 22:51:10 GMT

I'm an eHarmony member but even so I feel rejected somewhat. I've listed myself as an atheist and of the 18 people I've written I got one response from someone who wanted to know why am I an atheist.

I explained myself but she didn't bother to write back. I just wish I knew eHarmony was run by a J Freak before I became a member. I suppose that a lot of people there are members because of it?

But what's so strange about eHarmony is that I cannot browse and chose the person I want to communicate with. They do the chosing for me and send me an email when they find a match, or what they think is a match. Sometimes I'll only get one every 2 or 3 weeks.

I'm afraid I got involved with the wrong crowd.

Re: first date was great

revrick — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 15:41:32 GMT

Ah-hah! Dodged that bullet, eh?

Well, if you really want to get bathed with cold water, take a gander at my post below about the bogus science of love.

first date was great

topazz — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 12:12:15 GMT

Must've been all those mojitos..because the second date was much more of an eye opener. I doubt there'll be a third, Christopher Hitchens, et al notwithstanding.

Re: Confession: I Was An E-Harmony Reject

revrick — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 10:14:29 GMT

And how's it going with the writer (who knew Christopher Hutchens)? Or will this question send you running off to your stash?

Confession: I Was An E-Harmony Reject

topazz — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 08:34:14 GMT

I can only tearfully conclude that I must have been completely lacking in their 29 dimensions of compatibility criteria. While I was initially matched up with a few good men, for reasons unknown to me they all hit the "not interested in contacting you" button. As a former homecoming queen, it plunged me into a deep depression from which I shall never recover.

(running upstairs to eat my secret stash of mounds bars, sobbing hysterically.)