SpaceCadet:

The thing that R is doing wrong isn't exacting revenge, it's that she's so upset in front of her kids and doesn't know how to handle herself with them. And she is asking for help about that.

I agree 100%, SpaceCadet, with both of your comments on this thread. The LW seems angry and traumatized - all of which she has a right to be. She's not sure how to handle the situation she's in, with her ex and Lori being stunningly insensitive in the name game, and she wants to know what to do about this.

I don't think she's being selfish or immature. It's a difficult situation, certainly. But in no way should the ex and Lori have just decided amongst themselves, without the LW's input, that "Mama Lori" and "Mama Rosalind" were the names that everyone was going to call them. It's arrogant, foolish and shows a lack of respect. I think that the LW was justified in being upset, but she doesn't understand yet, perhaps, how to deal with her anger towards her ex in front of her children. That doesn't make her a monster; it makes her a human being. She'll either learn, and maintain a wonderful relationship with her children, or she won't, and might end up alienating her daughter. It's up to her.