Really interesting letter. There may be some doubters but I believe you were the letter writter. What struck me about the letter was a sense of "settling". I think when that feeling is aired, the relationship is over because it is not fair to the other party - there will always be an imbalance if one things he/she has settled for the other. However, as you and others have pointed out, nobody can be everything. The key is trying to find someone (if that is important) who has the "important or essential qualities" for you. If someone has most but not all but feels just so right, perhaps a previously essential quality will become merely "important" and something that can be found with a friend or developed over time. If that is how you are with him, then the relationship sounds great. If, however, you will always think you are "settling" (my word; I don't think you used it but that was the sense I got), I think you should move on. In fairness to you and in fairness to him.

Good luck. DK