Sounds like a great marriage. We cannot get "everything" from our spouses, in my view. It may be that I need a certain interaction from my guy friends that my wife, as a woman, cannot give me. It could be that she needs to discuss music in a way that I cannot (or I painting in a way that she cannot). It adds to the health of the relationship to realize that the relationship is not threatened when you seek some stimulation outside of it. However, I do think that the tone of the original letter was that the LW would be "settling" by staying with this guy. Once that attitude sets in, the relationship is almost certainly unhealthy and an insult to the other person. You can't un-ring that bell (at least in my observation of other couples who have had the ring of the "s" word).