Americans have gotten a great many things right, but one thing I think we can learn a lot from Mediteranean and European and and I'm sure other cultures is an almost innate sense of what to eat/act/live/experience sexually. To use food as an example, in order to be 'healthy' we have to follow a chart, then count calories, talk and discuss our weight and food decisions with near perfect strangers, and of course hit upon a great personal epiphany that will solve our weight problems.
How I grew up, you enjoy every meal and every bite like a good healthy woman should. No breakfast bars for me- give my a burger (minus the bun because its too filling with two patties) any day. But then, that'd probably be eaten in the late afternoon, it would be my dinner and I'd probably had eaten only an apple, 3 bites of French bread or a muffin top, half a cup of coffee with a tablespoon of half n half in the morning, and a chicken breast with a smear of cheese and pesto, peperonni and another half-cup of coffee with cream. The next day I'll have tomotopaste-olive oil fried broccoli, or a salad if I'm busy, with a little chicken for dinner. I eat well and happily and keep a size 2 with bad genetics and only walking for exercise. And, I always eat dessert when out with my friends. I'm not Giselle or Heidi, but I'm passionate about life and try to dress that way too and thats enough.
Sex should be dealt the same way. It is not about "getting maximum pleasure" or "being intimate with your partner" or "connecting emotionally." Sex is sex. It is what you want it to be, at that evening, that week, at that instant, or at that time in your lfe. Young women need realize it is just as okay to want to show someone love and attention and detail (no it is not self-diminishing or anti feminist) as it is to just want to rut it out. It is also okay to have not kissed anyone before age 18 (sorry, but most adolescent guys really arent the epitome of attraction), to hate PDA (am I the only one who finds this effeminate in most guys ?), and finally to be single or relatively "romanceless" compared to their friends.
If you don't have self-confidence as a woman or man, sex can be really bad compared to good sex, and this is from someone who had never been in an at risk situation for pregnancy or disease. Personally, I have no patience for fumbling/ stupid guys with no imagination and I'm more than happy to wait it out. The mean time, there is way more pleasure in dancing for 4straight hours to 80s pop and crashing at the burger place for chili dogs with good friends and company and maybe some harmless flirting than being in a smelly dorm room with a smellier guy.
