Regarding the fiancee who refuses to be naked at night as long as there are children in the home:

Islam addressed this matter 1400+ years ago. This is one translation of the Quran regarding this topic:

24:58 O ye who believe! Let your slaves, and those of you who have not come to puberty, ask leave of you at three times (before they come into your presence): Before the prayer of dawn, and when ye lay aside your raiment for the heat of noon, and after the prayer of night. Three times of privacy for you. It is no sin for them or for you at other times, when some of you go round attendant upon others (if they come into your presence without leave). Thus Allah maketh clear the revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise.

Obviously there are no more slaves in this matter. However, servants may apply. And thus little children and servants should ask permission before entering the parents' room before dawn prayer, which amounts to 1 hour before sunrise; at noon day nap, and after the night prayer which is after 8 pm approximately. This gives parents a degree of privacy to enjoy each other intimately without intrusion. And children learn boundaries.

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And regarding following an African, or African American who is a legitimate leader. The Prophet Muhammad (saaw) is reported to have said when some of his companions raised frustrations and concerns about following a nonArab, nonQuraish leader even if appointed by the Prophet himself. Muhammad (saaw) said:

'You should listen to and obey your leader even if he was an Ethiopian slave whose head looked like a raisin.'

This description, though general and universal, is percieved to refer to the Prophet's close friend Bilal, an Ethiopian slave who was one of the first people to become Muslim, was freed from slavery, and became a highly respected leader and scholar during the first 60 years of Islam.

BTW, the Prophet said many things about obedience to rulers and leaders, including: 'obedience is required only in what is good".