Dear Ellenor,

I'm sad to see that someone else was in the same situation as we are now. Same thing - abuse, manipulation, separation. I'm convinced that my step mother is either mentally ill or is abusing drugs (like prescription ones) because of the erratic behavior that I have witnessed. Really erratic.

He got away too....but now he has gone back to her and is lying to us about it. And I'm sick over it. Unfortunately, my dad is elderly and she screens all of his communication, email and otherwise. You can tell when she's there if we're talking on the phone.

During the separation, the dialog would be that we want him to be safe and that there was a lot of his life left to find happiness and love. He has many many friends and hobbies and activities so it's difficult to accept his decision. I'm hurt and angry but I have to be here the next time she flips out.

I think Prudie's decision is right - the LW's dad is younger than mine and she can reach him privately. Accusation won't help - tell him that it's important to her to have a relationship and aren't happy that it's strained now.... how does HE think they can mend it..and if it is important to her, she may have to realize that he never was there, he's not now and if she wants a relationship it's going to be hers to maintain.

good luck to all of us....