"confidence" in oneself has nothing to do with the way a person looks.... plenty of beautiful and insecure women. This issue has to do with thinking logically. I, even as a woman, I have fantasies I entertain in my head that I know I wouldn't want to carry out... and why isn't my husband allowed to have such fantasies also? Most woman believes it's different because men's fantasies are more sexual while woman are more romantic and sensual... but they are fantasies, nevertheless.. When the fantasies begin to cross reality, then it's a problem. He blows off work to watch, burns the house down cooking while watching, or uses our grocery money for online porn. just like alcoholism, gambling etc... when this happens, the underlining problem is something else, not porn.