On Annie's Mailbox today there was a similar letter writer (the 2nd LW) who wrote in on her own Mr. Vain AFTER 27 years of marriage. I appreciated the following quote from her letter:

"I agree that each spouse owes their partner the responsibility of keeping healthy, and if that is compromised by weight issues, those problems should be addressed together. It is not fair to expect one partner to spend his or her retirement years caring for the other because of neglect. But to base an entire marriage on the other's appearance is petty and juvenile."

Here's the link to the article: <link>