Hey oicuateonetwo, you're a man after my own heart!

You said: "fortunately men are avoiding marriage by greater numbers than ever before. marriage has nothing to offer males, and he runs the risk of losing everything he worked for. divorce is hovering around 54%, 78% of the time divorce is initiated by the female, and 88% of the time he pays her, since marriage is a contract, this one sucks for men..don't do it, it is NOT necessary."

I totally agree. I think marriage totally sucks for women, but not for financial reasons. I shake my head in sadness as I see these women spending so much time and energy defending their right to a clean home when I'm sure they have better things to think about and do. But since their identity is tied up with that old concept of 'wife' rather than 'partner' they fall into this mode of thinking and role.

Also we should do away with doweries and the engagement ring- THANK YOU.

As I said, marriage is a very very old institution. Initially (and still in some cultures today) women were sold to be mates to whoever could pay her father the asking price. The diamond ring only became popular as the engagement ring of choice in the early 20th century, but it's roots are still in trading a woman for money. So, women today still choose to sell themselves to men based on tradition.

As another poster said, there are palimony laws in place, and men are responsible for their children even if the child was born out of wedlock.

With these civil laws in place that ensure that children are provided for by both parents, and legitimacy can be proved with DNA testing, why is the institution of marriage necessary to non-religious, secular men and women? It's NOT.

P.S. Lest anyone decide to call me a man-hater. For the record, I love men. I love that they're not exactly like me. I've lived with one for six years in a common-law relationship, and when I'm single I prefer them as roommates. I appreciate the differences, and having a romantic relationship with a good man thrills me.

I just think marriage is an outdated and no longer useful institution that sets up love relationships to fail in the world we live in due to it's historical and cultural roots. Cheers!