Thanks for the useful critique. Actually, I wrote the poem after reading Aristotle's typology of friendship in his Ethics. He discusses"Friends of Excellence" -- who contemplate each other's virtue and try to base their selfless friendship on what will enhance that virtue. He also talks of Friendships of Pleasure in which taking pleasure and coincidentally giving pleasure is paramount. The third form of friendship if "Friendship of Utility" --used to describe "networking" friendship and office friendships that make work easier to accomplish.

If i did as you say, the poem would read better but lost its patterning after Aristotle. I'd have to take Aristotle out of the title and out of the central meaning, but maybe that's okay. I'll have to think about it. Thanks.