"...but were purchased by herself (which to me is even worse), as it is a symbolic continuation of a time when she was independent and thoughtless of a previous husband's feelings and wishes..."

Okay, now I'm confused. Would you rather see them go dutch on a ring? Forgo it altogether? Or is it that for this marriage to be remotely valid, he has to go out and cough up four or five thousand dollars to prove his love for her, and she just has to shut up and like it. We have no proof from the letter that she was thoughtless of her previous husband's feelings...heck, maybe she's a doctor and 1st Hubby was an elementary school teacher. Maybe 2nd Hubby is a social worker. Who knows?!