The media is all lit up with the big news - Dumbledore, the majordomo of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter book series, is gay. The author herself confessed to this fact in public!

Well I say we ought to make a clean sweep of it. Why let all of those other children's books that are secretly corrupting our children get away with it? Let's expose them all! Here is just a starter's list:

The Cat in the Hat - Cats popping out of hats? What could this be but a metaphor for coming out of the closet?

Green Eggs and Ham - a clear reference to marijuana. Turning our children into a bunch of potheads.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - hallucinogens anybody?

Mary Poppins - you never hear about her husband or kids. What was she into besides taking children on magical mystery tours?

Cinderella - read this to your kids and they'll have a foot fetish for life.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - 'nuf said.

Concerned citizens unite! Come up with your own list and spread the word!

<link>