Phasehead:

The breaking of the hymen just might be ...well, I wouldn't say traumatic...but it could effect her. THAT is what has historically indicated that a woman is no longer a virgin.

So what? Riding a horse or engaging in other physical activities that have nothing to do with a woman's crotch can cause the hymen to break. She'd still be a virgin. The definition of virgin is one who has not had sexual intercourse with another person.

I don't think the use of a vibrator would be traumatic, unless it was the plug in kind and shorted while inserted. But I can see her discussing with her mother any fears or misconceptions she might have, such as would using one make her no longer a virgin. Apparently, some people would think so.

My friends who are just a few years old than I am tell me that when they were teens, virgins weren't supposed to use tampons, either. If they did, they might break their hymen and lose their virginity to a wad of cotton! I really had thought peope had outgrown that nonsense.