I do see where you are coming from, Susan. However, it's interesting that you're being considerably easier on the LW than she is on herself. I find it very uncommon that she's matured to the degree where she fully accepts responsibility for her actions. She has my respect for that.

Could things have been handled differently all those years ago? Sure, that's easy to say now. However, once you're estranged and the other person is threatening to call the cops, bridges tend to burn and stay burned. (And a teenager setting booby traps hoping to hurt people isn't the natural extension of a 4-year-old throwing a tantrum.) The LW seems very honest and clear-headed and she's not blaming anybody else for how things turned out. I don't see any reason to argue with her.