Oh, yeah....no. I didn't mean to indicate that the LW dosen't have a voice at all, only that she's going to be ultimately ineffectual in dealing with MIL if hubby won't stand behind her. Say LW makes a unilateral decision that the kids can't go to grandma's unsupervised, and Grandma gets all uncivilized. LW makes another unilateral decision that she won't go to Grandma's, either. Now, what's hubby going to do? Bring the kids over himself and let Grandma have free rein. Problem not solved.