phunkjnky:

This all assumes that the kids aren't around also... but as far as the finger poking goes, I'd be very tempted to snatch that finger and then very calmly say something to the effect of, "I understand you're upset, but poke me again and I'll break that finger..."

Or try the old Krav Maga arm twist, face-to-the-floor move. Keep her pinned until she agrees that she's a cranky old bitch who's jealous of your functioning uterus.

That'll put a stop to it.