It's their wimpy, gutless sons that are the crux of the issue. If the son has a pair, and knows who'se side he is supposed to be on, the crazy MIL has no power at all. She either toes the line, or dosen't see the family...ever.

I know the LW didn't say that her husband sided with his Mom, just that Mom tried to get him to. But then she went on to say she didn't know how to handle the situation, which leads me to assume that the son didn't handle it. You see, he's the one who needs to do that, not the LW.

So now the LW needs to follow Prudie's advice and allow no more unsupervised visits with the kids, and no visits at all if Mom can't be civil. Mom will play it right out of the rule book and cause a drama with her son every time this rule is reinforced. And Son will probably round his shoulders and hide around the corner and put it all right back on the LW.

I don't know what you do- other than move across the country from his family- once you're married into this kind of situation. But dating, I would consider this type of family dynamic a deal-breaker.