London Town: This seemed strange until I read the return address. Ain't that normal behavior for British Public School boys? Anyway, standard secret-keeping rules apply: if the secret is going to cause real harm, give the secret-owner a chance to come clean, then tell whoever needs to know.
The Kitchen: Talk to your girlfriend and tell her all you wrote. What's her suggestion? That you tough it out until old age or disability takes care of the "problem?" Offer a menu of choices: masturbation, prostitutes, side affairs, a regular schedule, leaving the TV on so she has something to do, etc. Keep bugging her until you win or she dumps you. P.S. 2-3 a week is pretty sweet. Just sayin'.
'Bama Birthday Baby: Think of it as grist for the mommy chatter mill. Now you have something else to bitch about.
Fort Bragg Mama: You already told Grandma, now tell Auntie to tell her boyfriend to keep his hands to himself, and make sure Dad is actually on your side, not waffling. Grandma doesn't seem to like the kids much if they need several disciplinary events in a few hours. Meanwhile, hit the gym so you'll be able to smack Grandma back properly when needed. P.S. Don't be surprised if most of your neighbors back Granny....
Buckeye Bookworm: Hide behind the strict ethical code of the Society (International) of Literary Critics. No reviews for lousy relatives. How did the thing get published, anyway? Maybe help bro-in-law find an agent (and a real editor....)
Brotherly Love: Make up your mind that you're going to be over it. Then tell hubby it's up to him to make you feel over it. He needs to put some cognitive caps on his behavior (late night drinks with sexy co-worker? Hmmm.) If he means it, you'll feel better eventually.
Cowgirl w/ Blues: Yeah, sounds like it's worth at least a try before you walk out. Time for a straight talk with hubby and a six-pack of counseling sessions. Or, maybe he's relieved when you bring it up, and Splitsville is your destination.
Ms. Thang: Really? You at least have the option of bringing in a girlfriend and expecting your partner to be happy about it. P.S. What exactly does "give up hope" mean here?
Shrunk: Try, "I'm glad YOU'RE happy about it, anyway." Meanwhile, dealing with the underlying problem is job 1.
I love this town!*: Yeah, it's weird. But you already knew that. Love it or leave it.
Big Peach: Thanks for sharing. Was he British?
Big Orange: A punch in the jaw ends most temper fits. Or try laughing in her face at her childish antics. Might want to send the kiddies out of the room before trying either, though.
Suburban Nightmare: Kids are morons. Period. Put up a barrier of some kind, even tape & sticks (like our neighbors do on Halloween), and do tell the other parents that your lot is off limits. They will understand but be helpless. Meanwhile, go outside whenever the kids play and remind them to move far away. After two reminders, start calling the parents. Yes, you're now the neighborhood crank.
Suburban Nightmare Redux: If she's "professionally powerful and capable," how bad can it be? Still, a bug in the ear won't hurt, if delicately placed.
Big Shoulders: Why would anyone want to go to a party where they're not wanted? There are bigger fish to fry. And you don't need to paper over others' non-invites: just say you don't know how they came up with the guest list.
Suburbia All Over: Really, really scared nervous, or really, really excited nervous? There's your answer.
Downtowner: Just tell them that Mr. Right hasn't been born yet.
*Ladies and Gentlemen, the Great Buck Howard!
