If the MIL feels she can only control the situation in her house by hitting and letting other people hit her grandkids, then they should never be in the same room with her unless the parents are present. They are NOT her kids and she must follow the parents' rules if she wants to see them. These people understand that hitting kids is both wrong and counterproductive, therefore their kids don't get hit. EVER. BY ANYONE. ********** ********** ********** ******** ********* ********** ********** ********* ********* ********** *********** ********** *********** ********** ********* ********** ************* Frankly, I don't know how the LW could be so calm about this (although I'm sure time has passed). Most of the parents I know would gleefully strangle ANYONE who laid a hand on their kids. If Gran can't agree on how the kids are to be treated, then she should never be left alone with them. Clearly she's a few bricks short if she thinks she can bully her son into siding with her and not have his wife find out.