I agree with your assessment.

Refusal of the rights of gays to marry is unconstitutional. No state should be able to keep them from marrying and no state should deny them the same benefits they give a married heterosexual couple. That said, separation of church and state makes it clear the state cannot force any church to marry a couple against the wishes of the church--and note that to my knowledge no gay couple is asking for this. These are two different issues--being legally married in the eyes of the state is a whole different request than being married in the eyes of the church. Some churches can and do marry gay couples--other never will. It is not the business of the state to intrude upon the rulings of a church.

Strangely pot is a similar issue. Alcohol and cigarettes both are legal and are faced with piles of medical and social examples of their problematic natures. I cannot find a single fault with marajuana not present with alchol and tobacco--from abuse and misuse to social and domestic distress resulting (alcohol surpasses pot here big tome btw). If the rationale for making pot illegal is medical and social we need to either make alcohol and cigarettes illegal OR legalize pot. You cannot maintain this dichotomy without some means of showing a difference.