Nice post, KB01. You sum up very well several issues I had with the letter. I don't know if "resentment" is the right term, but something is off about the LW. It seems to me she's locked in on having things just so and has completely blinded herself to reasonable alternatives: It just has to be a sit-down dinner, even if her place won't really accommodate that; it's got to be the entire gang from school all at once, even if it means spouses get left out.

Again, not sure if resentment is the right term, but wouldn't a person normally have an interest in meeting the partners of old friends? She says her group has basically fallen out of touch, which means this invite out-of-the-blue with a bunch of strings attached is going to look really odd. I'd guess attendance will be very poor, or somebody will jump in and do it up right at a restaurant or something.