Davelias12:

Again, I really don't even see this as an issue. Does your SO need to go to every party you're invited to? If so, that sounds like a very dependent relationship. Remember, the lynchpin here is that it's a logistical issue, nothing more: it's not that she doesn't want to invite the SOs per se, it's that she doesn't have the room. That's the major point.

But this isn't "every party." It's a de-facto reunion and significant others are always invited to those sorts of things. And, since the LW makes it clear these friends aren't in regular touch any more, it will likely be the first time many of these people would be meeting the SOs and spouses.

The "logistical issue" is just a convenient excuse the LW is using. Who decides to hold a reunion at a place that can't accommodate everyone who logically should be invited? That's why there are restaurants and meeting places. Or she trims the list a bit and just invites her 5 closest friends and their partners.

If the LW does invite just the friends, I'll bet within 10 minutes someone with a bigger place will be volunteering to host or people will be suggesting restaurants.