Davelias12:

Does your SO need to go to every party you're invited to? If so, that sounds like a very dependent relationship.

There's a difference between having my husband specifically excluded from coming to an event and him simply not going due to lack of interest/time or whatever. I'd especially find it off putting to have my husband specifically excluded when there was no good reason for him to be excluded as in this case. There are a myriad of other ways for her to get everyone together where a small dining room table is irrelevant.