THE BEST MOVIE THAT'S EVER BEEN MADE AND SEEN EVER! michael bay is spiritually incapable of making a movie that doesn't suck beyond eternal belief ROBOTS FROM OUTER SPACE CAN SAVE HUMANITY FROM ITSELF! unfortunately KABLAMMO! er what's the sub-narrative exactly here MEGAN FOX IS TRULY ONE FOXY LADY! she was actually funny hosting snl OH BOY THAT'S INDIANA JONES' ILLEGITIMATE SON! apparently gushy plotlessness is the new french school art house movement etc. DOGS HUMPING=HILARIOUSITY POPULATION: LAUGH-O-RAMA! i want the last 2 and 1/2 hours of my life back GO OPTIMUS PRIME GO! i could actually feel myself getting stupider by the minute as if that's even possible KAFWOOSH! josh duhamel is kind of cool so i might actually be gay WILL THEY FIND LOVE! love doesn't exist so no NOT THE ROBOTS! MIKAELA AND SAM! love is nothing more than a socially contrived convention used to justify fidelity and good will I HOPE THEY FIND LOVE A LOT! only the dead know the end of war AN INSTANT CLASSIC FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY it makes sex and the city look like the usual suspects WITH A TWIST AT THE END THAT WILL SPIN YOUR HEAD UNTIL IT'S SPINNING and a backstory convincing all there to witness it that they wrote it as they were shooting it MY HEAD IS LITERALLY SPINNING probably the mountain dew/cough medicine stinger you just inhaled

IF YOU DO ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE YOU MUST SEE TRANSFORMERS 2: RISE OF THE FALLEN really do please YOU'LL BE TRANSFORMED into the semi-retard you know you already are

[hiccup]