Angry over the unidirectional poop parade of Procrastination
Board posters to BOTF, JackDallas and SpeakerNancy have seen fit to hike over
there and return the favor a time or two – to the shock, consternation, and
collective chagrin of heretofore smug posters who BELIEVED that the nasty stuff
would only ever flow in the one direction.
Apparently the regulars over there are so outraged over this
predictable tit-for-tat treatment that some of them are considering leaving the
Procrastination Board and, one presumes, ceasing posting altogether. Michael Ryerson in particular is weeping in
his hanky over the invasion.
Specifically, Ryerson is living in terror that I will personally
conduct a stately visit to the Procrastination Board and thoughtfully lower my
trousers and lay a steaming thick one right on their posting utopia. I think he’s actually wee-weed himself over
the thought.
Oh the heady power!
To think that I could be the final straw that broke the back of an
entire board! Sniff! And my dear ol’ Mum and Dad predicted that I
would never amount to nothin’ back in my grade school days when I was just boosting
cop cars and shaking down teachers for lunch money.
I could do it you know.
I could go over there and land among those hapless ducklings like a M-80
tossed into a pond. Ka-Bloom! Water and mud and feathers flying
everywhere. Nice.
But I don’t wanna. I
sort of wish that the short list of BOTF regulars that the Procrastination
Board regulars are terrified of [yes, terrified] would back off and let that
board sink or swim on its own. I look at
it as an interesting experiment you see.
In theory they now have all the posting talent they need in order to
succeed. As a matter of fact they have
sucked in so many former BOTF regulars that this board [the Best of the Fray] theoretically
cannot continue producing interesting top posts.
I mean that. By logic
alone we must now be dead and buried – sort of like the conservatives after the
last election, eh? We are in fact
[according to logic] nothing but ghost posters placing dead words on display
out of habit. The Procrastination Board IS
the new BOTF. Only . . . mysteriously,
it is not. It grimaces grotesquely and
manages to squeeze out a few biographical postings or cooking recipes or
tirades against BOTF posters once per day and that’s all it seems capable of
doing with that stunning list of talent.
Meanwhile the dead and buried BOTF board keeps chugging away
as if it hasn’t lost two-thirds of its regulars who, by their own claims,
represent the intellectual crème de la crème of posters. So why is it the Procrastination Board that
is the veritable posting wasteland and total joke?
I’ll be honest with you, I don’t understand this weird
phenomenon and that’s why I want to let those brave pioneers post in
peace. They cannot fail you see. It is in fact impossible for them to fail,
and yet apparently they are failing. I’d
simply like to study them from afar to see WHY they are failing.
So, anyway, that’s why I’m resisting the temptation to go
over there and say, “Boo!” Yes, yes, it
would be very satisfying to watch them wet themselves as a result, but I do not
want any of them to be able to say after their little utopia crashes and burns
that I had anything to do with their inevitable failure. I want it to be in their own incapable hands
whether they succeed or fail.
You other BOTF regulars do whatever you wish but I, for one,
am staying put in regards to my posting habits.
I don’t want to contaminate the great migration experiment of the
Procrastination Board.
