After the ex and his holding me down against my will, for a while I couldn't even have sex while I was on the bottom because I'd freak out. So I'm really glad your wife decided it was all ok and you moved on to a happy marriage. But from somebody who's been on the other side of that equation - you abused her and that really isn't ok.

Sorry, you didn't actually equate the two but that seemed to be the implication of your post.