SusanM:

She is a liar and is really engaging in bad behavior. I agree, herpes isn't that big of a deal. But to some people it is. She knows that it is a problem (that is why she is lying) and yet she goes ahead anyway just so that she can get what she wants. That is selfish and immature. The fact that people should go ahead and accept the risk does not remove their right to informed consent in the first place.

Compare it to being a vegetarian - if somebody accidentally serves a vegetarian something with animal in it (its in a lot of places you wouldn't imagine!), well no real harm done but they should be educated to make sure it doesn't happen again. But if somebody deliberately sneaks in a little animal then that is asshole behavior. In the same way, somebody accidentally spreading herpes should be educated but somebody deliberately sneaking around to do it is just an asshole.

I totally agree. Obviously the woman sees herpes as a big deal or she wouldn't lie about it, and even if she didn't, it's not right to assume that it wouldn't be a big deal to everyone. Yes, I think it probably does drive some men away, but if she gets as many men as the letter writer describes, it shouldn't be that much of a problem that one of them will be willing to figure it out. And no, it's probably not as "serious" as some other STDs, but if someone lied to me about that I'd wonder whatelse they are hiding. On top of that, where do you draw the line? If it is morally acceptable to lie about herpes, then it's basically a go-ahead for everyone to lie about HIV and anything else.

And yes I have heard that oral herpes can be transmitted to the genitals, but that also means you have to worry about oral sex as well, which I would guess is far more common than it was in past eras. Many people don't think of the health implications of oral sex, which I think is a big mistake.