Yep. Wicked stepmother is looking for justification for her hateful feelings about having to deal with stepson. No, the step relationship is not easy .... I'm a stepmother, and my kids have stepmoms. And I think it's harder for the stepmoms because the fathers often seem to not notice the problems (which I agree are quite trivial here in the grand scope of things). Moms want to control. Dads just want some peace. So kids end up having to deal with "control freak" stepmoms. I'd want a friend on hand for deflecting some of that negative energy too ..... sniffles or not!!

Stepmom .... please, look for positive solutions and ways to feel better about yourself. And don't waste energy blaming the stepson (or teens in general) for your misery. Give up some control and stop expecting perfection, concentrate on somebody else's happiness and use some imagination for providing a less tense environment for your stepson (take everybody bowling, for heaven's sake). Find ways to relax and unstress with the family. Then you'll feel better about yourself when you know you are the catalyst for positive changes in your family's environment. The added benefit is that you'll have a better marriage because you'll also become a more relaxed spouse.