Red firefly, your description of "forgiveness" as "sweeping it all back under the rug" suggests that you have seriously misunderstood the concept As a practical matter, you cannot forgive what you do not know or understand or acknowledge. It simply can't be done.

Forgiveness is not "hiding" or "excusing" or "pretending it didn't happen" or "saying it's okay" anything like that. In fact, it is absolutely impossible to forgive a wrong that you claim did not happen, or that you do not acknowledge as really, truly having been a wrong deliberately done to you.

Forgiveness is entirely compatible with seeking justice (but -- and it's a fine line -- not revenge). A person who has forgiven an abuser can easily seek justice as what may be best for the abuser (who might benefit from therapy, an opportunity to reflect, the loss of the "I always get away with it" mentality, and more) or as what may be best for other potential victims. (How could anyone "lovingly" allow an abuser to seek and obtain more victims?)

Forgiveness is giving yourself permission to quit beating yourself up with your victimhood. It's acknowledging that the other person was a flawed human instead of a total monster. It's revoking the abuser's permission to dominate and ruin your entire life.

I think you (and Prudie) might benefit from learning more about the idea of forgiveness.