"The moment averts its eyes to this impoliteness."

"It waits for its guest
to return to her bathrobe and slippers,
her cup of good coffee, her manners."

Mixed mangled metaphor. See below.

There’s no such city as Philadephia. Doesn’t anyone proofread?

A published poem should always watch its speling. It should wear spektakles if necesssary.

Very confused and unfocused. I hope to see a better poem next week. But according

to this poem, hope is fatal.

Hirshfield has written more gooder verse and few as worse.