Ted - you echo my own feelengs about this as well. Which is why I questioned whether I should "throw 2/3 of it away". . It also seem to me that the "poem" is totally "disjointed" with no cohesiveness to it". The top part, including the quote from Richard Friedberg is going in one direction, while the bottom half including the quote from Queneau is going in a totally different direction.

I almost feel like cutting it in half, discarding the whole top half and concentrating on the last two stanzas and the Queneau quote as the lead in.

d;-)