The ((GO P!* Party?!)) is not going to run itself. Sarah Palin, knowing just how much people want to help is now asking you to go by her example and quit your job to help make America better. She knows that most of you don't have to quit since you probably don't have a job right now, but for those who do, Governor Palin has composed this nifty form letter that you can use to offer your resignation.

All you have to do is fill in the appropriate curvy spots, but don't leave them in, no matter how cool they may look; you want to look professional here and curvy things should be used in moderation and for emphasis; you'll see later.

Hi Boss ((or you may want to call him or her by their name so they think you like them as in when ever I write to a certain someone I always start with “Hi John”)), I appreciate sending this letter TO you, the person I work for, as your ((senior vice president, Head of department, night manager, lookout, etc.)).

People who know me know that besides faith and family ((or try other words that begins with the same letters like work and wealth or fame and fortune but not beer and broads unless that really is important to you. This called a literation and is a literal device used to draw attention to your words; I learn that at one of the colleges I attended)), nothing's more important to me than our beloved place to work. Serving our ((customers, patients, parolees, people walking by on the street trying to ignore us, faceless assholes on the phone, homeless people asking to use the restroom, etc.)) is the greatest honor I could find at the time.

I want people who work here at this place of work to grasp what can be in store for our ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)). We were started as a ((business, firm, convenient store, small plumbing company, fly-by-night phone center, debt collection agency)) because ((name of owner, corporate entity, street name if applies)), providentially saw in this ((corporate environment, strip mall, bordered up building, busy street corner populated by prostitutes and slingers)), vast ((choose all that apply: riches, space, need, despair, urban renewal funds for the taking, little to no police presence)) and opportunity. He boldly ((insert company slogan w/appropiate verbiage. Ex. He boldy thought “It’s time to make the doughnuts”; or He boldly “Got Milk.”)) But he endured such ridicule and mocking for his vision, remember the adversaries scoffed, calling this ((what employee’s called your place of work when they were in the break room; ex. “Wal-Fart”, “Gaptoothed”, “Kinko’s”)). But because ((name of owner, corporate entity, street name if applies)), withstood such ((disdain, harassment, robberies, police shakedowns)) as s/he chose the uncomfortable, unconventional, ((again, if you do not wish to sue this phrasing, substitute another literation which would symbolize the struggle of the business such as staggering, stupefying)) but RIGHT ((or choose a word more apropos such as PROFITABLE, EASY, SHORTEST, LESS DANGEROUS; Caps important so your BOSS can hear what you are writing)) path to ((choose appropriate verb: find, keep, carve out, keep afloat, park, etc.)) for ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)), so ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) could help ((use same verb as above; this is another literal device which I don’t know if it has a name but it will work trust me. If you’re worried, CAPITALIZE)) the United States.

((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van))’s mission - to contribute to America. We're strategic IN the world as the ((crossroads, big box retailer, liquidation center, coffee shop, copy center, meth capital)) OF the world, as a ((gatekeeper, petty bureaucracy, coffee brewer, lookout, usurer, enforcer, etc.)) of the continent. Bold visionaries knew this – ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van)) would be part of America's great destiny.

Our destiny to be reached by responsibly developing our ((contacts, verbal skills, inner talents, hygiene practices, limps, etc)). This ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van)), blessed with ((great employees, tremendous demand, little or no competiton, free soda machine, etc.)) It's ((energy, faith, work ethic, free sodas))! God gave us ((energy, faith, work ethic, free sodas)).

So to serve the ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van)) is a humbling responsibility, because I know in my soul that ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van)) is of such import, for America's security, in such a volatile world. And you know me by now, I promised to ((show MY independence, do MY work, SHOW UP on time, not ask for SATURDAYS OFF, etc.) ... there will be no more conventional "business as usual".

And we are doing well! ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van))’s accomplishments speak for themselves. We work tirelessly for ((name of owner, corporate entity, street name if applies)).

We aggressively and responsibly develop our ((great employees, tremendous demand, little or no competiton, free soda machine, etc.)) because they were created to be used to better our world... to HELP people... and we protect foremost ((customers, patients, parolees, people walking by on the street trying to ignore us, faceless assholes on the phone, homeless people asking to use the restroom, etc.)) with our ((office rules, store policy, street justice, etc.))