montereyjill:

Ah yes, blame women for men being on the defensive :)

What I'm trying to say is, men or women don't have to explain or defend their choices at all. Period. I'm married to a Japanese man. Very few people have questioned me on marrying outside my race. When someone has asked me why I'm with him, I don't go into how much better looking I think Asian guys are than white guys, how Japanese men have better personalities, etc. It's insulting to, well, anyone. I say "I married ____ because he's nice, smart, funny, good-looking, etc. Not nicer, smarter, funnier, better-looking...

See what I mean? Also, the more defensive and the more you try to justify your preference, the more like sour grapes it sounds. And that's why a lot of people assume that any guy with an Asian girl and refuses to look at white girls probably "can't get one." I don't believe that, but that's why others get that impression.

That's all!

But Jill, you -are- defensive. It's why I asked you in my first reply to you, exactly where have I put down any other women? You came at me with all of this business about saying all the ways in which Asian women are better than you, and there wasn't word one to that effect.

And if you're wondering why this is even a topic of conversation, it's because there's no small number of people out there who will judge an anglo guy dating an asian girl. That's a real stereotype, it's ever-present, and it gets pretty annoying. That's not saying white women are inferior, that's not even in the same room.