What were you doing on the ground on my island besides listening to your Mandarin missus, fantasizing about Polish girlies, wearing your underwear as outerwear, farting up the whole place and dreaming about the Fray? Were you blindfolded the entire time? Did you ever unplug the iPod ear-phones? Better yet, who let you onto my island? Next time, forego the package holiday, give me a buzz and I'll show you places your cartoonish imagination never dreamt of ...

On second thoughts, maybe, strike that, your homoeroticism and your doggy-pissing on my posts as well as your S-M infatuation with the reluctant man-hugger JD are way creepy, dude.

Let's keep our 'relationship' purely frayfessional.

Now, fuck off! You're really beginning annoy me again.

[Just kiddin', sweetie.]