I quite agree with everything Troy Patterson wrote. The hot-dog eaters (one step below cannibalism, if you ask me) and their beloved fireworks displays inspire in me a dignified sniff down my very nearly aristocratic nose. (We don't actually have aristocrats here, darn it.)

Well, almost everything he wrote.

Mr. Patterson enlists the aid of "top statisticians" in his antipopulist tirade: according to them, he puffed, "exactly half of (Americans) are below average."

Uh, no.

The statistical term "median" is the point where exactly half would be below it. Average has a different meaning, and there is no obligation for exactly one-half of the population to fall below it. It could be a larger or smaller number.

It isn't only a passion for fireworks that might land us in the bottom half. Ignorance can do the trick, too.