Ian:

Well, you're not a single guy anymore so I guess it's a little late, but I've found a couple things here that are great for meeting women that aren't doing the "learn by grilling" thing... Washington Square Park on Sundays has a book-club-with-beer thing happening. It's all lit-nerdy and fueled by alcohol at the same time, and it's great in the summer. Another one is drop-in dance classes. Swing and tango are fun and I've met a lot of great girls there - actually, great people in general. I guess I just always avoided the whole "date"-date thing where you meet up someplace that serves overpriced food and try and get chosen for a second interview. I hate that job-interview approach to dating. ( and I avoid the Marina and North Beach like an ebola quarantine, so that helps too )

not:

All I can do is stick my hands in my pockets and look at my shoes. Yeah, my stuff was a little defensive. It started out that way with the OP, I was ranting about how sick I am of being looked at like some kind of domineering perv because of who I happen to be attracted to. So there you go, /rant off and all that