Exactly this mistaken label has been haunting Regent's for years. Liberty is nothing but a party school with a bunch of dumb jocks and artsy-fartsy types. The curfew is at 10PM and daily trash screenings have turned up more than one condom wrappings.

Regent's on the other hand, have graduated many of our nation's leading thinkers. Why Monica Goodling, Class of '99, has briefed Congress about the inner workings of the DoJ. Plus, Regent's loves God more than those footwashers over at Liberty. We sing our school song in tongues. Beat that, Ladies Liberty. Go Fighting Charismatics! WOOOO!!!!!

Not that I'm Catholic, but I do have a confession. Mothers never let me go to Regent's. Oh, I so wanted to attend I kept their brochure under my pillow for a whole year. That is, until my the salt from my tears and other bodily fluids made it deteriorate. It's my one true regret in life. And I've done things. Horrible things. I still hope someday to walk its hallow grounds as a scholar. If not as a student, then as a visiting scholar, a snake handler-in-residence perhaps.