And what sort of thing needs to be first kept and then burned rather than just dumped in the Waste Management bin?

in a word, porn. think about it...it has to be something that has some sort of use while the father is alive, and not after. porn is the one thing that comes to mind for me, though I'd love to hear if others have ideas that match this description.

i'm sure many guys have at least joked about the need to have a friend clear their internet history/cookies if they die suddenly so their parents/wife doesn't see it. or, in a more dated fashion, joked about the need to have a friend retrieve the magazine they hide under their bed.

If i were the LW, i'd ask the old man to give me a general idea of whats inside. if it is something benign (but embarassing) like porn, then honor the request (i would hope you have the strength to not break down and tell his wife about something so insignificant). if it is something larger and seedier, then you can say "i don't think i'd be able to keep a large secret from my family". you really need to have at least a general idea of whats in the box before promising how you will react when viewing it.