Victory!:

Syntax; When you put out a question like this on this forum, as you've no doubt learned by now (since you've read this whole thread)-- you're going to get some thoughtful answers with valid advice, some idiotic comments and joking, and some unnecessarily bitchy wisecracks.

I'm curious: since I'm in my late 50s, have a decent body, (I get told I look maybe in my early 40s or even mid-30s) and wear a 2-piece swimsuit (but not skimpy bikinis) -- then I think there would be at least a few of the wives at this party who would be wearing 2-piece or even bikinis also, don't you? If you really think this is inappropriate of your friend and she's asking for trouble, present her with a long wrap-around swimsuit cover-up or a pretty crocheted or lacy poncho. Are you concerned about your friend's propensity to flirt with married guys, or that she might behave inappropriately? I don't really think you're jealous of her, as has been implied here; that's not what I get from your letter.

And never mind the bitchy people; and don't respond to them in kind, either. It just makes for more bitchiness.

That's the kindest words I have for you. Except maybe you can finagle an invitation for yourself, and go with her...

You're definitely right about the first part. I was curious to see if anyone else thought it inappropriate as I did, and still do. No one here has changed my mind about that. I understand it's a liberal group so I'm not too surprised. I guess what I was looking for was someone to help me put into words what my gut feeling is; that a single woman invited to a party with people she barely knows, to get into a hot tub wearing a two-piece is simply asking for less than charitable opinions from the married women there and perhaps even discomfort from both sexes. I believe that and still do, whether it's right or wrong on the face of it. I know I'm not a prude and I know I'm not jealous of my friend. It's simple, I think she's making a mistake and I'd hoped to prevent that but I needed something better than my 'gut' feeling.