COUNTRY MUSIC

Oh Monica, you Monica

In your little black beret, You beguiled our saintly Billy

And led the creep astray.

He’d never seen thong underpants

Or met a Valley girl;

He was used to Southern women,

Like good old Minnie Pearl.

You vamped him with your lingo,

Your notes in purple ink,

And fed him Vox and bagels

Until he couldn’t think.

You were Bill’s Delilah

Until Acquittal Day;

You’re his-tor-y now Monica,

In your little black beret.

by John Updike, February 1999