Wow, MessyONE, way to be compassionate and encourage the abusee that she/he is worthwhile and strong enough to leave.

I don't think it's news that the children are always victims in abusive relationships between their parents. I think what is new is the number of alternatives to get out that are becoming realistically available in the last 20 or 30 years. Not everyone area has a shelter, or well-educated law enforcement, or economic opportunity at the snap of the fingers. There are a lot of dead women in this country who believed that the system would do its part and keep the abuser away ... but it doesn't.

Extraordinary people have always escaped from intolerable situations, but it's the rest of us who can provide supportive services to each other to make successful escape not just a hope but a reality.

After the victim(s) are safe and learning to be unafraid, the healing can begin.... maybe by learning to forgive their mother who did the best she could, even if it wasn't good enough.