LW#1 - Dude, here's a piece of timeless advice that has been passed down from father to son for generations: Once you grow up, you have to go GET A JOB. That's right - now that you are not only an adult but married, with bills and a struggling family to support, you need to stop searching for inner peace or whatever it is you have been doing and go GET A JOB. Here's another piece of advice that hasn't been passed down from anyone because the subject really doesn't come up that often: Before you let your wife sell body parts to support you, go GET A JOB.

LW#2 - I don't know how to put this delicately, so let me be blunt - your mom needs to get laid, desperately so. Introduce her to that nice divorcee who works down the hall, take her to Vegas and get her drunk, hire a gigolo, do whatever you have to do to deflect some of that neediness away from you. In the meantime, reset your Facebook profile. You can create different levels of security now to avoid precisely this kind of yuckiness.

LW#3 - If you were to ask an ordinary guy what he thought about a woman's thumbs, he would undoubtedly look at you with a bewildered expression and ask "Thumbs?" In other words, I really wouldn't worry about this too much. The advice about reading "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" was good, but depending on how old you are, you might want to skip the scene near the end with the giant lesbian orgy. Then again, maybe it will inspire you. Who am I to judge?

LW#4 - Ok, THIS I'm comfortable judging. Are you serious? This is your problem? Your thumbs bend, your mother is sane, your significant other isn't compelled by necessity to consider selling body parts and you are gainfully employed at a time of global economic collapse, yet you are so perturbed by the idea of picking up a sandwich for a co-worker who would happily do the same for you that you feel compelled to write an advice columnist? Here's another piece of timeless advice, GET A GRIP!