LW#1 - I can sympathize because I hate bigots too but basically, dude, you're screwed. Start looking for that new job right away and lay low until you find it. When you do, though, you can have some fun. As soon as you give two weeks notice start blaring some Jay-Z from your cubicle, carry a worn copy of the Autobiography of Malcolm X everywhere you go, and answer every question with "fo'shizzle!" And remember, things could be worse. For example, you could be married to LW#4.

LW#2 - Grow up, princess. and cut the old man some slack. And when you get married - if you get married - try not to be like LW#4.

LW#3 - I need more information. Are you a normal person who just happened to move to Pleasantville? Or are you as genuinely unpleasant as LW#4? In either case, your best response is probably just to ignore the comments. Rude, snappy comebacks are unlikely to do much to enhance your reputation for warmth.

LW#4 - I was going to suggest that YOU go get a better job, since you seem to think it is so easy, but then I realized that the more money you earned the tighter you would grip the next $40 your in-laws may need. So I decided instead on some advice that will undoubtedly be beneficial to you in every aspect of your life. Be quiet, please. Bite your tongue, take a vow of silence, whatever . . . . just STFU. Trust me, it can't hurt.