Sorry but I really don't see the problem here!! Maybe this is because I am of the "younger" generation, but I would view it as entirely appropriate to be unconventional in the way you hold a wedding and ask for gifts. A friend of mine is a talented clothing designer and seamstress, and designed and made the bridesmaid dresses for a wedding of a friend of hers; the time, effort and love she put into those dresses was her gift to the bride and groom, and to the bridesmaids who got to wear dresses designed with them in mind and that actually fit! Far more personalised and appreciated, I'm sure, than the kitchen gadget I recently bought for another couple. Unconventional, perhaps, but far more celebratory, fun, and reflective of the people involved than the meagre amount of cash she would've been able to provide! If you had a friend who was a rabbi or a priest (as I do), wouldn't you want them to officiate? I know my friend would do the same for me on my wedding day, and I will be that much happier knowing that I have the love and support of my friends in entering that new phase of life.