alldenwall

He is my best friend. We have been friends for years, He was my shoulder to cry on when I started going through my divorce. Since we no longer work together we talk about once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.

Unfortunately I am one of those people that attracts people who have problems, I always have because I am supposedly a good listener. Although I can be very blunt when someone is screwing up. Sometimes they appreciate it and sometimes they don't.

At this point he cannot afford to move out and into an apartment until the divorce is over. They have no joint accounts. His credit is so bad now that he can't even get anything on credit. He is no longer in the military, as a matter of fact he just retired the beginning of this year.

I totally agree that he has allowed her to manipulate him over the years but, in actuality the court system is manipulating him more than she is right now. We live in a community property state and the judge was not real happy about the pre-nup. So since she couldn't get anything from him (due to attempting to entrap him with the pregnancy) the judge ordered that she was allowed to live in the house if that was her choice until the divorce was final and that since he is sole owner of the house she is not responsible for any of the bills. So she is taking advantage of the situation. I am sure that the judge would have ordered him to hand over half of his savings and 401k if she wouldn't have done what she did since most of it was acquired during the marriage.

As I said, I did meet and talk to her a few times and every time that I did talk to her she complained that he wasn't making enough money and needed to get a better paying job (maybe she thought I would sympathize because we worked for the same company at the time) and she even mentioned one time that if he couldn't find a better paying job he should get another part time job. It wasn't as if she couldn't have gone out and gotten a part time job herself as the adopted children were in school all day or she could have worked in the evenings herself.

Thank your for your advice, I appreciate it. I will mention the credit thing to him though just in case.