By the way, why are women the only category of people who are expected to listen to hate-speech directed at them and pretend to like it? If he were white and she were black, and his prefered music was racist skinhead nonsense, would half the Fray be saying that it's just music?

In fairness, most death metal is pretty much gender neutral. Cannibal Corpse is not, but "Cannibal Corpse" is sort of the generic "death metal band" that everyone knows (thanks, Ace Ventura!), so she may be pulling that out of thin air, in which case it is entirely possible that the lyrics actually in question aren't the sort of misogyny/'hate speech' you assume them to be. Still, doesn't sound like my idea of acceptable sonic wallpaper for coitus, you know?