Postal Abbreviations:

AK, AL, AR, AZ yes, these are authentic postal codes used in the United States. In my twenties, talking to more than a thousand Americans per day, five days weekly it became obvious to me that my fellow Americans were clueless as to which abbreviation applied to which rural state. It was a daily occurence to get errant calls in Arkansas when my fellow American really wanted to talk with Arizona.

Arizona was the most frequent such aberration on the line. I'd kindly explain to the caller that AR was for Arkansas and they'd be shocked perhaps proclaiming, "Gee, I forgot Arkansas was even a state. What's AK?" I'd reply, "Well that's Alaska, it's a little confusing isn't it?" Going on, the person I was serving would explain that they thought AL was Alaska. Then it was apparent they'd also forgotten Alabama was a state as well.

During the Ken Starr crusades this often happened, and all these errant callers recogninzing by my southern drawl, that they hadn't reached Arizona or Alaska asked me where in the country I was. When I told them they had reached a genuine Arkansan, they wanted to know the juice. What do you think of Bill Clinton? I don't know how many times I was faced with this question. Now this was prior to my road down mental health freaktopia, I was a conservative republican in nature. But do you know how I handled that as your basic "A" state uneducated redneck? I'd tell them, "If I think about it, I wouldn't want Ken Starr investigating my life"

That was way before I had a personal computer, and I went to church everytime the door was open and took my tots with me. I didn't make much money so we often dressed in jeans and shirts from JCPenney. My church never objected to this manner of dress and this one wasn't entrenched in politics.

Since I don't think you guys visit "A" states very much there are a few things- I'll let you know about them:

A) We talk slower because we are thinking before, during and after we speak. Perhaps checking and rechecking the fact that words might cause and we should use them carefully.

B) In my "A" state we learned our postal abbreviations in school because Bill and Hillary Clinton apparently thought we might look ignorant if we didn't. We learned a lot of other things too that you might learn if you quit trying to fit their kind into your mold.

C) In "A" states you are taught to respect your elders, I don't know what they teach elsewhere in my country.

D) "A" state people can back off a vicious attack and say, "Hmmm...that's wrong, I need to change my behavior."

E) "A" state people learn to love the beauty of the land they live on, and they don't walk around with pooper scoopers preserving piles for future generations in plastic bags. We don't let the dog do his business on the neighbors lawn. If we have to scoop we throw out of the path of the next guy.

Times were different then, we spoke to people who needed to make a call across the country and stopped to say, "Thank you and you have a great day", I meant it, maybe some did not. I like the "A" state person I was prior to my personal computer and the mean streets of the internet superhighway. I think I'm going back.