"As you said, this kind of intimacy doesn't happen with porn, but in a way, that's part of the problem, because porn reduces sex to an animal urge instead of an expression of love between a couple who are committed to each other. "

Total nonsense. I can have a brief, meaningless moment of "self love" and it in no way affects my ability or desire to be with my wife. Porn doesn't "reduce" sex with her in any way shape or form.

"The wife who has sex with her porn-viewing husband can't help but think, "Am just another slut to him?" "

That is the wife's problem. Her perceptions of his sexuality are totally off base...why should we punish him for her misperceptions?